reflecting

So I just did a blog on myspace going over 2008 and it made me reflect on this past year. 2008 was dramaful to say the least (read the changes blog). Lost a couple of friends, dated someone and broke up, and roommate drama. But I realized that I have done a lot of growing this year as well. I wouldn't take that back for anything. I feel like I really got out of that high school mode of thinking and became an adult. I look at things differently, I feel more mature, more responsible. Also a lot of good things have happened this year.

I have made some amazing friends (im sure you know who you are) and gotten some great advice. I also have had the help of my Savior. He is always there for me. Jesus Christ and my Heavenly Father are my constant in a very crazy world. I love this gospel and the love that I feel from my Heavenly Father and his Son Jesus Christ. There is nothing better than feeling their love in a moment of despair. It changes everything. They give me far more than I can return! I want to try and there are a lot of ways I can improve. This new year and semester is going to be different. I am going to put my Heavenly Father first and school second. I am going to cut back on computer time and focus on whats really important. Its not a new years resolution this is a promise to myself and to them.

School is almost over!!!

So here I am sitting in Biology writing a blog. Yep this is the theme of my semester. Procrastination. I have skipped more classes this semester than I have ever in my life combined. I just had a hard time finding the motivation to attend..especially biology. I put off every single paper every single speech and every single test and quiz. Trust me though I paid for this. I have managed to pull everything off and still have decent grades. But I lost sleep and my stress levels were very high. This past week I had a speech to give and a paper to write. I knew about them in advance and still didn't do them any earlier than the night before. Lets just say I had a little breakdown, freaked out, and didn't get to bed until 3:30 and had to be up by 5:45. I pulled it off and managed to do fairly well but its not the best thing.

Next semester my classes are going to be harder and I am trying to pick up even more credits. I now have a goal not to put papers off or homework off til the last minute. I will get my stuff done early so I can benefit better. I have come to realize that if I put things off it just takes me longer and my best work is totally not there. I am a fairly good student and want to really show my potential. I am paying for this and can't afford to retake a class and its certainly not who I am. I am now looking at receiving my first C since middle school. I have always gotten straight A's with an occasional B+ in math. So people help me with my goal. Dont let me procrastinate!

What the H?!?!?!?!

Have you ever had one of those days where you can't do anything right????????????? Thats me today. I don't know where all this is coming from. I guess you could say its school stressing me out and relationship problems. Today I just feel like I can't do anything right. I can't think right, I cant make the right decision...ect. I have so much to do for school and I just can't focus. I can't fix my paper and I can't research my speech. I just feel like a loser today and I am just at a loss i guess. Looks like im skipping school tomorrow and i know its probably not the best choice. I do this too much. I never skipped a class until this year. And its so close to finals. But I dont really feel my best and yet i cant sleep lately. I have only gotten about 5 hours of sleep everynight if im lucky!

Sometimes i wish things were back to how it was even a couple of weeks ago. I know it wont solve anything but the past week has been super hard. I also feel like im driving eveyone around me crazy.

Well enough of this self pity and all. Its time to do what I know is best. Read my scriptures...pray..and talk to my daddy. I think I need a blessing.

Temple night

So tonight my great friend Rachael wanted to go to the Temple. So we went lol. We did walk in baptisms. It was a really great night. We were able to get right in and join a group. I loved being there tonight. It made my day for sure! Tonight was really amazing for me. I was confirmed for a girl named Annie ??? Avery. Same last name was pretty cool. It kinda hit home for me how important this work really is. It made it more personal doing it for someone with the same last name. I am so glad that Rachael wanted to go to the Temple. We are going back Saturday! YAY

So naturally i am going to put down my testimony. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the church of Jesus Christ is the true church. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God and i know that it blesses my life immensely in my life. I also know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and brought back his true gospel. I know that today Thomas S. Monson is the Prophet of God and he speaks the will of the Lord. I can't wait to be a missionary!

Changes

I can't believe I started a blog. But lately I have learned that writing/typing things out seems to help me. Hmm whats been going on in my life??? Well This year you could say has been full of changes.

First my sister and I decided to close the daycare. So for the first time I was job hunting. I got a job at Tender Loving Care childcare in the Little Rascal Room. I LOVE IT! I work with two year olds and I adore them. I miss the kids from my sister and I's daycare. But I believe that this is where I am supposed to be right now. I am learning and growing there.

Second big change with me is friendships. Recent events have showed me who truly is and is not my friend. It has been very hard realization to come to. It took a lot of praying and soul searching to get over it. I have lost some friends but have also gained some very good ones. I would not change anything for these friends now. Rachael is amazing! She is one of those new friends and I am so glad I meet her. Everything is always fun with her around. There are so many other new friends that I can't mention them all.

But the one person that has always and will always be there for me is my sister Mandy. I can't believe how close I have gotten to my sister. She is truly my best friend and understands me better than anyone. I love her more than I can truly express and am glad I live with her. She has gotten me through some very hard times.

Another big change is that I switched majors!!! It took a lot of time for me to come to this decision. I love my job and my major goes with it. But I realized I dreaded that class and the work. I was not happy. After talking to my amazing parents I decided to change. Credit wise I am now a freshman cuz not all my credits transfered. Kinda sucks but im so excited. I am an undeclared major but will decide for sure by next fall.

Well I think thats all the major changes in my life. I am so happy that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It is my rock and I have a firm testimony of it. I will serve a mission when I turn 21! I can hardly wait!!!